


Coping

by SparkyArcher



Series: The Kirkwall Chronicles of Evangeline and Elia [5]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hawke Has A Twin, Post-Game, You Have Been Warned, sads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-01 22:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8640529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkyArcher/pseuds/SparkyArcher
Summary: Evangeline is having trouble coping with Anders. Sebastian and Elia offer some helpful insight.





	1. Thedas' Greatest Sin

It was over. Orsino had snapped and died, Meredith had snapped and died and now Kirkwall would finally be safe for a time albeit a bit crumbled but they would rebuild. That being said, the family and friends of Elia and Evangeline Hawke had to flee Kirkwall before the Divine’s forces arrived and they were all killed for one reason or another. It had been by far the most trying event the elder twins had ever gone through and while Elia found the comfort she needed in the arms of the two women she loved, Evangeline was spending some time in solitude, reflecting.

 

She had killed Anders by her own hand. She’d just been so angry, not only had he pushed the mages and Templars into a war neither needed and killed hundreds of innocent people but he had nearly killed Elia too. Elia had been in the Chantry giving confession, for what reason Evangeline did not know, and it had only been by the luck of the Maker that Elia had been far enough away from the Chantry that she didn’t die but the explosion had caused her to lose the ability to hear in her left ear. The twins were going to have to work around that next time they fought. 

 

Just the thought of Elia nearly getting killed got Evangeline’s blood boiling add to that this war could kill Bethany too and Eve was shaking with her attempts to control her rage. It took a moment for that rage to subside again and Evangeline’s mood to hit rock bottom again as she stared at the dagger in her hand. The same dagger she had driven into Anders back not even 24 hours prior. Maker she didn’t even have the guts to watch the light fade from his eyes.  
“You did the right thing.” The Starkhaven accent was a dead give away as Eve sighed but didn’t turn to face him.  
“I know.” The sound was barely above a whisper and yet it was strong enough to convey her conviction. She wasn’t lying to Sebastian but more importantly she wasn’t lying to herself.  
“Then why do you look like you’ve committed the greatest sin in Thedas?” Sebastian asked in attempt to make a joke and still find out what’s wrong.  
“Anders was my friend.” Eve whispered and Sebastian visibly bristled.  
“Even after what he did?!” His voice was nearly a shout but he contained himself, as much grief as he held over the death of Elthina he had to keep in mind it has been just as hard and trying for the Hawke girls, if not more so.  
“THAT was not Anders!!” Evangeline finally whipped around to face the prince and he saw the trails of tears on her cheeks. “I don’t know what that was but it wasn’t Anders. He died years ago. That thing was not my friend, but Anders was.” Her voice became softer as she spoke, not being able to retain anything above a whisper in her reflective state. “I don’t support what he did, in fact I vehemently condemn it but I can’t help thinking if I’d noticed sooner I could have talked him out of it. Maker if I’d just paid more attention to his behaviour!” The tears were coming again and Sebastian opened his mouth to try and comfort her but her was cut off by a tiny whisper. One that almost wasn’t there. “I failed him. I failed the Chantry and the people of Kirkwall, they were expecting me to keep them safe and I failed.” Her voice sounded so broken that Sebastian thought it would take literal glue to put her back together but if his heart wasn’t breaking for her then it did when next she spoke, “I couldn’t even protect my own friends how the hell could I ever hope to protect a city?” Eve paused and Sebastian dared not say a word in case it shattered the fragile girl in front of him “I just-” she paused again and the wind nearly blew away the last two words, “failed everyone.”  
“You failed no one.” Before Sebastian knew what he was doing, he’d pulled her into a comforting embrace and he offered a silent prayer that the Maker would protect the child in his arms and that Fenris doesn’t kill him for doing so. “If anyone has failed here it was Anders. He was a fool to shut you out and even more a fool to not listen to your council. But you, you have failed no one.” Sebastian heard her sniff as she clung to him for dear life and nod.  
“Thank you.” Again there was a moment of silence as the two stood in the comforting embrace but unfortunately Eve had to break it. “Sebastian?”  
“Yes?”  
“You should let go now. Fenris is glaring at you.”


	2. You are not fucking fine and we are talking about this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evangeline is not coping.

It was always a wonder how, no matter where they went, Elia could stir up trouble. She even managed to do so in Redcliff, surprisingly enough. Naturally, Eve was having none of it and was going on with her usual "stop being so reckless" lecture when Elia sighs and smirks.  
"Hang on, Eve, just let me roll over to my other side so I can't hear you, then you can lecture to your hearts content." She joked and actually did roll over. 

 

Of course things became quiet but they were a little too quiet, normally she could still hear Evangeline yelling at her to pay attention but this time all was silent. Curiously, Elia shuffled around again and was instantly on her feet at the sight of her sister wiping away her tears.  
"Hey, please don't cry. I was just kidding. Ah shit!" Elia cursed but only received a smile from her twin.  
"What are you going on about, Elia?" Eve asked, any trace of sadness or tears gone from her voice.  
Elia frowned "Come on, let's go have a drink. You need it."  
"Elia, no. We're meant to be lying low." Eve frowned when Elia grinned. Never a good sign.  
"Exactly! Drinking will help us fit in!" Elia cheered, grabbing her sisters hand and running from their room in the direction of the tavern.

 

Not much was said between the twins as they sipped their drinks but the air became just a little lighter. It wasn’t long before Elia was telling a story about Bela, shockingly, getting into trouble. Naturally the story was exaggerated but just seeing Elia back on her feet and happy was enough for Evangeline to start smiling again. As the red-heads story dragged on, Eve began drifting, listening to the background noise of the tavern was calming. Until she heard something that destroyed all of Elia’s hard work.   
“The circle was doomed anyway.” An off-duty Templar shrugged, “They were just waiting for the right of annulment as it was. Now all the mages will just be hunted down as apostates.” Well that information was new and Eve certainly didn’t need that today. 

 

She couldn’t believe it. The right of annulment had been called. Which means Bethany would have been killed if-  
“I’m going back to the room.” Eve muttered, quickly removing herself from the table and leaving a few coins for her drink.   
“Hey what’s wrong?” Elia asked, quickly following after her sister at the sudden change in mood.   
“I’m just tired, don’t worry.” Eve put her mask on again, “I’m fi-”  
“You are not fucking fine and we’re talking about this.” Elia frowned, taking Eve’s hand and the lead as she dragged them back to their room, knowing full well their companions would be listening in through the walls. 

 

Again silence fell between the women as Elia sat on one of the beds and Eve paced the room.  
“Okay, what’s with the sudden change? You were fine a minute ago.” Elia sighed, not sure how else to say it.  
“What are you talking about? I’m still fine.” Eve grinned but, of course, Elia didn’t buy it for a second and set her sister with a stern stare.   
“You know you don’t have to deal with this on your own right? I can help you.” Elia offered. That was the last straw for Eve, tears started to run down her face like a waterfall as she turned to face the corner in a failed attempt to hide her emotions.  
“No you can’t.” Evangeline sobbed, “This burden is on my shoulders and mine alone. It has nothing to do with you so I’m not going to let you be weighed down by my burden.”   
“How stupid are you?” Elia sighed, “I just said it, you don’t have to do these things on your. We always do things together remember? That means sharing the burdens as well.” Her statement was met with a shake of the head from her sister as she turned around, finally showing her tear streaked face.   
“But we haven’t! Haven’t you ever noticed how a lot of problems haven’t come back to bite us?” Eve questioned.  
“Now that you mention it.”  
“You always say I work too hard, well it’s because I work to make sure you and Bethany and Carver don’t have to worry. I work hard and shoulder all the burdens so you can be happy and have the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them.” Evangeline admitted, a small smile coming to her face, only this time it wasn’t a mask. “And nothing makes me happier than protecting you three.” 

 

Silence fell again as Elia absorbed this information, it made perfect sense actually. Eve was always running around after her siblings fixing their mistakes and being a voice a reason.  
“You’ve spent all this time protecting us, let me protect you now. You did the right thing, we all know that. So please, for your sake let me help you shoulder this burden.” Elia was once again met with more tears and another sob.   
“But I didn’t do the right thing, Elia! I thought that Anders nearly killed Bethany, but you know what? Anders actually saved Bethany’s life! The right of annulment had been called, Elia, Bethany would have been killed if Ander’s didn’t do what he did!” Evangeline sobbed, wiping away her tears only for them to be replaced by fresh ones, “I thought he’d killed you and was going to be responsible for Bethany’s death as well, that’s why I killed him. Not because it was justice not because he was going to be executed anyway, I killed him because I was angry, I killed him for revenge. How does that make me any better than him?!” She cried, hiding her face in her hands as Elia came over and pulled her into a comforting hug.   
“He killed thousands of people, Eve, what you did was justified even if your reasons were your own.” Elia whispered, not releasing her sister.  
“So have I!” Eve sobbed, “All the years we’ve been in Kirkwall, how many people did we kill? How many of them had families? How many kids did we leave orphans? And yet we were hailed as champions for it.” Elia sighed and pulled her sister to arms length.  
“Look at me.” She ordered and Eve complied, “What you did was not wrong. Anders was corrupted by a spirit of vengeance even if you killed him for revenge you freed him from that. You have nothing to be guilty about.”   
“Everyone has a story they tell themselves to justify the horrible things they’ve done.” Eve muttered before placing a smile on her face once again, “And I’m no different. I’m just going to have to swallow every horrible thing I’ve done and smile through it.”  
“Eve that’s not-”  
“Shut up and listen. Seeing you and Bethany, Fenris, Aveline, Merrill, Varric, Bela and Sebastian happy, that makes me happy and that’s all I need. I won’t ever forget what I did but when I’m with all of you and you’re all smiling it doesn’t weigh as much.” Evangeline smiled again, a real smile and in turn Elia smiled back at her and hugged her all the tighter.  
“Anything I can do to help, you know I will.” Elia grinned but frowned a moment later when Eve freed herself of her grasp and began walking to the door, “Wait, where are you going?”  
“I just-” Even sighed but she was still smiling, “Need to be alone for a bit. I’ll be back soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so not sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry. I am so sorry. (I'm not sorry). If it makes you feel better, I cried writing this.


End file.
